FAQ - Cuddle with Kaz

What makes cuddling "professional"?

Cuddling, like any kind of interaction with other people, requires consent and body autonomy on both sides. Think of it this way: professional cuddling is like having a surrogate, emotionally healthy, cuddly friend that can support you.

 

As a counselling and psychotherapy graduate, I want to make sure being physically close is not only safe for you, but genuinely something that's helpful for you. The last thing a cuddle therapist wants to do is take advantage of people that are hurting.

 

Not everybody is suited to being a cuddle therapist. It takes a certain kind of person to be willing to hold a stranger and give them caring, platonic touch.

 

What happens during a session?

Sessions vary depending on the reason you're coming in. You might want to feel nurtured. You might want to be nurturing. You might want a companion to talk to over a coffee or to watch a movie with.

 

For your first session, we can meet in my private location for an hour, meet in public for 45 mins, (perhaps that makes you feel safer), or we can meet at a cinema to watch a movie for 2 hours. 

 

For later sessions, we might meet at your place, and/or meet for longer session (up to 6 hours), at my discretion.

 

For all clients, you're NEVER expected to endure touch you don't want. In fact, for some touch-adverse clients trying to explore touch at their own pace, we may not touch at all in our first session. That's normal!

 

As far as how we'll cuddle? That's up to you to decide and ask for.  I'm not an expert on you and what you want. I may offer ideas or some questions to help you come up with how you might want to cuddle, but you don't have to come up with something immediately just so we can "get the show on the road," so to speak. Take as much time as you need to figure out what you want to do, and then ask for it. If I’m uncomfortable, I’ll tell you, and suggest a variation. We don’t have to stay in the same position for the whole time.

 

Who do you work with?

All ages, sizes, nationalities, divergents, and demographics, regardless of whether you feel unattractive or awkward. I want everyone who needs affection to be able to access it. I just require that you are polite, respectful of my boundaries, do not have a contagious air-borne or skin disease, and maintain adequate hygiene (more on that soon). Because this is a non-sexual service, gender is not a deciding factor in receiving cuddles at Holistic Touch, so any gender is welcome. I do hold a Blue Card and will be able to work with children soon.

 

I will be doing my best to educate myself on the challenges people might be experiencing due to their demographics, and tailoring sessions for their needs. So please describe yourself in your Enquiry Form to help me help you. If you have specific needs, please ask, for example skin sensitivities, arthritis, unable to walk up stairs, etc.

 

Hygiene? What do you expect for that?

I ask that all my clients bathe and brush their teeth within 12 hours of their session time with me, and to wear clean clothing for our session. Also please refrain from smoking and drinking at least one hour from our session time. Any client who is intoxicated (drugs or alcohol) will not be permitted and will forfeit their deposit.

 

Is this safe?

Yes, absolutely. I have completed a Diploma of Counselling and Psychotherapy, and while I am not registered with any industry association (permitted only to degree graduates), I am trained in ethics, and have your safety and comfort at the forefront of my mind. I also have a Blue Card (Working With Children check), and take precautions for my safety also.

 

What do I wear?

You just need to wear a top and pants. Shorts, sweatpants, leggings, pyjamas, t-shirts, dress shirts, jeans... I want you to be comfortable with what your choice of clothing is, but bare minimum is a tank top and gym shorts.

Men and masc folk, please note: boxer briefs are not pants. If you dress down to a t shirt and boxer briefs, I will ask you put your pants back on for the session.

 

What will you wear?

My own clothing will have the same requirements as you: a top and pants of some sort. This could be yoga pants, sweatpants, tank top, t shirt, etc.

I do wear undergarments under these clothes and this is a non-negotiable for me.

For my personal comfort in sessions, I don't take specific clothing requests unless a request is due to:

1. a religious reason,

1. skin irritation or allergies due to certain fabrics (i.e. tactile discomfort for autistic peoples, textile dermatitis, etc.), or

1. you want me to wear more/longer/thicker clothing than I normally might (i.e. long pants, long sleeve shirts, etc.). If you have this specific request when I visit your home, I ask you to please have temperature controls available so I don't overheat.

 

Otherwise, my body autonomy is important to me, including what to wear. Asking for me to wear less clothing or to wear certain types of clothing with sexual undertones (i.e short shorts, crop top, dress, skirt, stockings, nude, just lingerie, etc.) leaves me feeling uncomfortable and less trusting of you with my body. I don't entertain those requests, and erotic requests like this means an immediate end to us working together and forefeiting any payments given for sessions.

 

What costs are involved?

For mobile services, i.e. outcalls to a public place or your location, a travel fee of $2/km applies from my location (or nearest point on my route if I'm travelling). This fee is waived for the first meeting if held in a public place. Parking fees may also apply if unavoidable.

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Any other costs incurred during our session, for example a movie ticket at the cinema or lunch during a day trip outing together, are also to be covered by the client.

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Can I pay with cash?

I take a deposit of $50 online via a credit card payment. The remainder of your payment is due in person at your session, preferably in cash, otherwise via credit card which incurs an additional 2% fee.

Your card is saved to charge in the event of a no-show (for which you would be charged the full amount of the session) or for a cancellation fee less than 8 hours before the session (a charge of $20 administration fee to reschedule).

 

For more about payments – please see  “Conditions” 

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What's okay and not okay in a session?

Here's a quick summary, but it's not meant to be an exhaustive list:

Yes to wearing a shirt and bottoms

No to wearing only boxer shorts (think of pants you’d wear outside)

Yes to shoulder/scalp massages

No touching under clothes

Yes it's okay if you get aroused

No to escalating a session sexually if you get aroused

No to kissing

Yes to touching the stomach area, but

No to erogenous zones (genitals, breasts, buttocks)

If you have other questions, please ask in your Enquiry Form.

 

When are you available?

My general availability (for first time sessions) is 11am to 7pm, Tuesday to Sunday. Later sessions such as day trips or movie nights are scheduled on a case-by-case basis at my discretion with different availability.

 

Can I see you today?

Repeat clients are able to request sessions with me last minute, via the phone, but I am not always available to do so. 

 

Can you tell me when you're in my area?

Yes, I’m hoping to do some road trips and flights later this year, so knowing where people want to see me will help me organise these sooner rather than later. Please register your interest via the Enquiry Form.

 

What If…

I have health issues, like mental or physical limitations?

Please tell me ASAP! I'd love to be able to accommodate your needs as best I can, and the more I know about you ahead of time the better equipped I will be.

 

What if I can't give you my contact info?

For privacy and security reasons I can't work with you if you're not willing or able to give me your contact information.

 

I'm not comfortable and want to stop?

Can I trust that you will say that you are? If so, when you say that you're not comfortable, we can reset our session, stop cuddling if we need to, and talk about it. This is your session, and I want to know when you're uncomfortable so we can work on that.

 

I want to extend our session while I'm there?

You can ask! I can't always, depending on my schedule or the timing of the session, but I'm happy to work with your session length needs as much as possible.

 

What if I need to cancel/reschedule?

Please let me know by calling or sending an SMS with as much notice as possible. We will hopefully be able to reschedule. Cancellation fees may apply (see “Conditions”).

 

What if I run into you in public outside of a session?

If you initiate contact, I'll greet you. I won't identify you as a client in company (unless you out yourself). I always look to you for direction on this as I value my client's privacy and needs for discretion.

 

I don't want my spouse to find out I'm seeing you?

I don't disclose your information if you've seen me to anyone you haven't given me express permission to, so if they call I can't provide them with any information.

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I don't judge you for coming to see me without telling them and that is not a prerequisite to seeing me. That said, couples that are willing to tell their spouses tend to see great results both in cuddle sessions and in their marriage.

 

You say “no” to something I ask for and really want?

“No” doesn't mean I hate you or that you're terrible. It just means no, I don't want that and am not okay with that. Once I say this, it's now on you to decide if you can accept my “no”. If not, then we probably need to stop cuddling together.

One part of a professional cuddling practice is having a space where you can safely hear “no” and be okay with it.

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What if I get aroused while we're cuddling?

The short answer: nothing happens if that happens, and nothing changes unless you need to step away or break contact somehow.

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Getting aroused while cuddling is normal. I don't get upset or offended by noticing, although if you're a man/masc person with an erection I might adjust positions so that I'm not in contact with it.

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Like all feelings—happy, sad, angry, nervous—arousal is a feeling that is natural in our sessions. This is a place where suppressing how you feel isn't always helpful, but at least acknowledging yourself that the feeling is present and intentionally deciding you're not going to escalate cuddling into something else has been really helpful for many cuddle clients.

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We can continue cuddling as we were beforehand if you feel you can do so, depending on our “body warnings” at the time, and I'm open to less contact overall if that's what you need for your arousal to dissipate.

 

I'm "generous" if you offer me more than cuddling?

My work is adjacent to sex work, but the boundaries for my work are for the purpose of maintaining a therapeutic session and not a sexual one.

I suggest one of two things if you thought this might be okay to ask me for:

1. Consider what it is you're hoping to get out of having more than cuddling-- closeness? More connection? Skin contact?-- And I ask you to consider if that can get met through a cuddling session as I've described it.

2. If you really think what you need is more than cuddling, look for a sex worker. Many kind and helpful sex workers would be happy to help you.

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If you have further questions, consider booking a “Discovery Call” to talk with me.

 

Kaz 😊